Shades of Colour
by Penny Talisman
Summary: In which my OC -Amara- joking kisses half of the company in order to find her colours. Soulmate AU - You live in Black and White until you kiss your soulmate for the first time. Warning: #HurtNoComfort #Death #Heartbreak #RightInTheFeels #NotAllRomanticRelationships


_I really just want to be warm yellow light that pours over everyone I love._

 _ **Conor Oberst**_

* * *

"Lass, Settle somethin' for us" Bofur called over the campfire to Amara.

She glanced up from stirring the stew, she was helping Bombur prepare, and just barely managed to not roll her eyes at the sight she was met with. Bofur was holding up one of the halflings -' _Boris? Billy? Or was it Bolbo?'_ \- shirts.

"Is this blue or white?" At her exasperated face he ploughed on awkwardly "I say it's white meself, but Bilbo here" _Ah, she thought it's Bilbo_ "He says it's blue"

Amara found herself unable to stop the action, and rolled her eyes. Surely they knew that she could only see black and white until she kissed her soulmate for the first time. It's not like her kind, humans or long ones -the Dwarves analogy-, kept it a secret. It was the opposite really it was all people talked about. Finding their colours. ' _It's almost disgusting really.'_

Amara huffed out some air, before using her practiced polite tone reserved only for people she didn't know "Master Bofur, I haven't found my colours yet. I could not tell you"

"Found yer colours?" Befuddlement fixed firmly onto his face "Lass, wha' in Mahal's name are ye talkin' about?"

"Surely you have heard people talking about finding their colours" Amara frowned at him, they all had collectively spent years and years in the towns of men smithing and toy-making, surely they knew about it.

"Lass, ye just sound demented"

"Actually" Bilbo cut in "I've heard of it. Not a great deal but we do get big folk occasionally. From what I've heard, you generally kiss someone on the cheek the first time you meet them." Bilbo scratched his nose and frowned as if trying to remember something "Something to do with an explosion of colour when you first kiss your soulmate. Right?"

Amara nodded her agreement, as Bilbo shuffled his feet, He was practically spot on. As far as she knew, no one really knew until they experienced it.

"So ye mean to tell me. I shoulda had a kiss from ye when we first met?" Bofur placed a hand on his heart, dramatically he continued "I feel so cheated"

Amara laughed suddenly, her usual brash behaviour escaping slightly. "Well, we can't have that. Come here then"

Bofur, visibly startled, croaked "What?"

Amara grinned, she'd never had a reaction like this before "Come here. I have to keep an eye on the stew for Bombur while he's off" She waved a hand towards the woods, to gesture the direction Bombur had left in.

Bofur seemed to have taken root to the spot he was stood in, gaping slightly at her. Obviously, he hadn't expected such a response, Amara was sure there was no actual possibility of him being her soulmate, she had never heard of soulmates crossing races.

Amara cackled internally, clearly enjoying herself and his reaction too much "Scared?" She teased.

That seemed to do it. Bofur's face scrunched in righteous indignation, upon thrusting Bilbo's shirt into the halflings chest he began to circle his way around the campfire. Surprise lit through Amara, she hadn't expected him to actually walk over, perhaps taunting him had been a mistake. She was known for going that bit too far.

Unceremoniously, he plopped himself down into a sitting position right next her.

"Whenever yer ready, Love" Bofur grinned cheekily at her, his usual spirit returning with his surprise fading.

Snorting, Amara shook her head, feeling as though she had walked into a trap. Carefully, so not to tip the pot she was stirring, she leaned over and gently pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.

Amara let out a dramatic sigh "No" She feigned an exaggerated disappointment "No explosion of colours. Looks like you're still a free man" Amara patted him on the shoulder and let out another hugely dramatic sigh, and returned her attentions to the pot.

She grinned widely at his laughter "Lass, yer all right"

* * *

 _Colour is what gives jewels their worth. They light up and enhance the face. Nothing is more elegant than a black skirt and sweater worn with a sparkling multi-stoned necklace._

 _ **Christian Dior**_

* * *

Amara stretched out upon the green of the grass outside of Beorn's home, she was fully enjoying the short respite this place provided them with. Slowly, she pushed herself upwards into a position with a better view of the dwarves. They were using their time to spar rather than relax, Amara wasn't going to complain though, she found most of the company easy on the eyes. So who was she to tell them to put their shirts back on?

Idly, she watched Thorin take on both Fili and Kili at the same time. Her brain taking mental notes of their physique's, the way the sweat made their skin shine and the grunts they made as they defended and attacked each other. Her face and body, however, made sure to make it look like she was casually observing them. She'd never live it down if any of them found out she fancied some of them.

"Mind if I sit?" Amara jumped, not having heard Bilbo arrive.

She smiled warmly, recovering from her shock, gestured the grass near her "Go ahead"

The pair sat in companionable silence for a few moments, watching Thorin defeat his Kili in quick succession with relative ease, stealing the poor lads weapon before knocking him down with what appeared to be an agonising blow to the ribs. Fili, though surviving the battle awhile longer, was also disarmed then thoroughly defeated with a kick to the knee and a fist to the jaw.

Amara, feeling bad for the pair as they slouched their way to the sidelines, gave them a cheer as they were replaced in their job as opponent by Dwalin. Both Fili and Kili grinned up at her appreciating the praise, while Thorin simply shook his head at her as he squared up to Dwalin.

"You know" Bilbo said, cutting into her thoughts "Ori still blushes when anyone mentions that kiss you gave him"

Amara laughed "Honestly" Shaking her head in amusement "What is he going to do when he gets a proper kiss, from a proper Dam?"

"I think it might have been the way you teased him first that embarrasses him the most" Bilbo stated a matter-of-fact tone to his voice, making Amara snort in her amusement.

Grinning widely, Amara sat up properly before turning to face Bilbo properly "Then he shouldn't set himself up for a bit of teasing. The colours he can turn, not to mention the way he stutters when he's trying to talk himself back out of the hole he's dug himself into are too amusing to pass up"

"Still" Bilbo noted "Perhaps you should talk to him. It may ease his -" Bilbo stopped talking abruptly, floundering for the right word to use

"Embarrassment? Flustering? Awkwardness?" Amara supplied casually

Bilbo nodded "Those will work" Casting his gaze back towards the vicious sparring Thorin and Dwalin were effortlessly displaying, he attempted to continue casually "Besides that, it may be a good idea for you to not kiss anyone else while journeying with the company"

Amara looked at him astounded, completely flabbergasted at his tone she snapped "You make it sound as if I am whoring myself out to them"

To which Bilbo turned a florescent shade of red "Th-Tha-That is not what I-" Bilbo pitifully stammered.

Amara raised a brow at him before quietly hissing "You better explain fast then"

Letting out a noise of distress that attracted the confused attention of Bombur gaze, the dwarf frowned at the pair until Amara grinned widely at him. Bombur clearly thinking that it was finally Bilbo's turn to be teased returned his attention to the sparring match. Leaving Bilbo alone in his attempt to climb out of his own accidentally deep hole that he had dug.

"I swear" Bilbo started "That I only meant that.. What I meant to say is..." He whined in distress again "I mean that you could end up making someone in the company jealous"

Amara snorted at him, his nervous stammering having removed her sudden onset bad mood "Alright, I believe you. I'm sorry fro misunderstanding"

"No!" Bilbo replied too loudly drawing the attention of several dwarves including the sparring pair, flushing once again he continued "I'm sorry. I should have been more clear"

Amara nodded, glad that they knew each other well enough to settle things this quickly. She leaned over quickly and abruptly kissed the hobbit's cheek, causing his flush to darken further. _'Poor Bilbo'_ She thought absently _'He may never return to his normal shade'._ Pushing herself to her feet she dusted down her trousers.

"I'm going to see if Kili fancies an archery contest" She smiled warmly at the flustered hobbit "I feel that I might win this time"

* * *

 _Man needs colour to live; it's just as necessary an element as fire and water._

 _ **Fernand Leger**_

* * *

Sliding painfully off the stout piebald pony, Amara whined, she had never been a horsewoman. Though she didn't dislike horses or ponies, she didn't feel comfortable sitting on the back of an animal that hadn't _technically_ consented to it nor was she comfortable sitting on a hard leather seat for up to 9 hours everyday. Stretching out her legs properly, Amara patted her pony on the shoulder then set about the buckles that attached the saddle and bags to the mare. Warily, Amara removed the saddle from the mare, still not having lived down the first time she took off the saddle, unsure what she was doing she had subsequently smacked herself in the face with it in the process. Though she had acquired no physical injuries her pride and ego would never recover from the humiliation.

"Amara!" Her head snapped up at the sound of her name and she saw Kili jogging over

"Kili" She smiled at him as she continued to settle her pony down for the night.

"Come hunting with me" Kili bluntly asked in his usual manner, seeing her unasked question in the glance she threw him "Fili can't, he's got first watch tonight"

Amara nodded in her agreement "Of course, but why me? You've never asked me before"

It was true, Kili with his archery was basically the hunter of the group, he always took a partner with him though but he had never asked her to join him before.

He rubbed his neck awkwardly "Well before all of our impromptu contests I assumed the bow might have just been..." He trailed off looking at her feet

"For show?" Amara finished for him, and snorted at his sheepish nod. Not even slightly offended she continued "Well you aren't the first, but the last one changed his mind when I shot him in the throat"

Kili's face drastically changed to an alarmed look and she waved a hand him. Cutting off what he was going to say, she started to brush her mares body thoroughly "Bad man" she simply stated.

Kili nodded solemnly, clearly remembering the little she had told them of her life as an orphan on the road. It wasn't a horrific history what she had but it wasn't pretty either. Silently, he picked up a spare brush, paced to the other side of the pony and started helping brush her down. The mare snorted at him in response to his brushing and turned her head to him in an attempt to get something sweet. He rubbed the mare's silky muzzle before she turned away in disappointment.

Once they were done, the mare was so clean she shone as if she were wet. Amara smiled, patting her pony absently before she gathered her bow and quiver.

"Let me tie her up, I'll be just a moment" His answering grin was blinding, Amara smiled seeing him come out of the weird funk he had been in just a minute ago.

Not ten minutes later they were trudging north heading towards some particularly dense shrubbery and large rocks in hope of boar. Out of the corner of her eye she saw he was wearing his usual cheeky grin that implied mischief was brewing. Warily, Amara regarded him silently, debating whether or not to ask about it.

"You know" Clearly she didn't need to ask him "Bilbo was right"

Amara, unsure of what he meant, turned her head to better see his face then uttered an eloquent "Huh?"

Kili laughed quietly, checking himself, so not to scare off potential food "About the other members of the company getting jealous if you keep kissing only a select few"

Amara felt herself flush slightly, hoping it would look like the exertion of the day, she fell back into an old habit and teased "Are you?"

Abruptly, he cut into her path, a wide troublesome grin on his face, that exact one that always worried her. He reached a hand out, tucking an errant lock of her behind her ear away from her face. His face shifted, taking on a more flirty look.

"Would I get one if I said yes?"

This time Amara's jaw dropped, only Kili would be this kind of flirt. She snapped her jaw shut, refusing to yield as he stepped closer, leaving little room between them.

"Depends on what you expect to happen afterwards" Amara replied bluntly, thrown off by the way he was acting.

Snorting, Kili replied easily "Well," He mused "If there's an explosion of colour for you, I fully intend to throw you over my shoulder and leg it" He winked at her "But don't worry love" He smirked "There'll be no hurt feelings if there isn't"

Amara's jaw valiantly attempted to drop again, refusing it permission to do so, she squared herself up. Closing the space between them she pressed a careful kiss to the stubble on his cheek. Pulling away she backed up and smirked.

"Looks like we aren't running away anywhere Darling" She laughed.

Kili, huffed a laugh, feigning hurt he turned away "Ah, well" He sighed "Better find a boar or something then"

Snorting in her attempt not to laugh she resumed walked towards their destination with him.

* * *

 _The purest and most thoughtful minds are those which love colour the most._

 _ **John Ruskin**_

* * *

Half drowned she pulled herself ashore, hacking water from her lungs. She obviously looked a right sight, bedraggled and half drowned she'd probably scare children away just by looking at them. An argument and a scuffle sounded above her, though she struggled to bring herself to care, that is until an unknown voice sounded above her.

"Do it again" A dark shadow snarled down at them, surprising Amara as she had just assumed the dwarves were once again fighting amongst themselves "And you're dead"

"Peace" Amara blurted out, cutting across Thorin who clearly had a scathing retort "We do not wish to fight you. Nor can we, we have no weapons on us"

"Aye" The man nodded lowering the bow a fraction "That much I can see"

Suddenly the man turned away from them disappearing behind rocks momentarily, returning unarmed, he stalked through the sea of wet, disgruntled dwarves and begun to drag the barrels ashore. Carefully avoiding the only human woman of the group, clearly he was either incredibly rude or mated. It could be hard to tell sometimes. Amara walked over, deciding to force the issue, using the pretence of offering her help.

"What is your name?" She asked, mid-heave of what she believed had been her barrel "I'm Amara"

"Bard" He gritted out clearly wishing her gone.

"Alright then, Bard. Tell me. Are you mated or just rude?" Amara hissed, even between street rats and urchins it was considered highly rude to not give someone a kiss or allow them to kiss you upon meeting them. He heard the man heave a ragged sigh, however she noted that he refused to look up to meet her gaze.

"Widowed" He muttered near-silently, making Amara's stomach churn in shame.

"Oh, god" She choked on the words "Forgive me" Amara floundered for a moment "I'll leave you be"

She bolted up to the patch of rocks Kili had sat himself on, she quickly took over the binding of his leg after seeing his brothers clumsy attempt to do so with shaking hands. She knew that they had potential to be immensely fierce warriors, to do their family name proud, but sometimes she looked at them and saw two lost little boys clinging to one another. She patted Kili's good knee in encouragement, when she saw his knuckles turning white.

"That's good, Kili" She whispered her encouragement to him as she worked, though she wasn't much of a healer, she could bind wounds well. She could stitch them up too if you didn't mind them lop-sided. "You're doing well"

Tying off the end of the cloth to keep it in place, she looked up at Kili, he seemed to be struggling to keep his composure. Not wanting to appear weak or lose face in front of his uncle, Amara assumed that to be his reasoning, pushing herself to her feet she patted him on the shoulder.

Leaning in she murmured in his ear "Stay seated as long as you can" At his answering nod she stalked off to wash her hands in the river. Not wanting Kili's blood drying on them.

"Amara" Amara nearly jumped out of her skin, turning her head to look over her shoulder she spied Fili behind her, smirk on his face "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you"

"You didn't" Amara retorted "Just surprised, I don't scare that easily" She snorted, if she did she would have had a heart attack by now.

He huffed a laugh at her disgruntled expression "Thank you" he sat down next to her on the rocks "For helping Kili"

She nodded in response "It's nothing new" Amara laughed "That boy's always doing something, either to injure or get him into trouble"

Fili hid a grin behind his hand before answering "He usually takes me down with him too"

Amara grinned widely, retorting "I hear you return the favour. Often"

"What are big brothers for?" His eyes sparkled with their amusement.

"FILI!" Thorin roared across the small shore, making them all flinch at the volume.

Said dwarf rolled his eyes, muttering to himself before pushing up, taking Amara's hand he helped her back up to her feet as well. Quickly, he lifted her hand and pressed a small kiss to her knuckles as if she was some sort of swooning maiden, making her scoff and pull her hand back.

"No explosion?" He quipped, dodging her punch, he feigned a pained expression then he turned and ran up the rocks to where Thorin was standing.

* * *

 _I'm trying to incorporate colour into my life. Until recently, everything in my closet was black, white, grey, navy or olive.  
_ _ **Jennifer Morrison**_

* * *

Lake-town burned. Golden-red flames flickered and burned in the night, a deadly beauty to them. Though, the beast, Smaug was dead. Many were dead, homeless, suffering. Amara's heart was pulled every which way, as she helped pull children and adults ashore, checking for life. Her heart broke a little more each time she came across nothing, the final nail in her coffin of sorrow was a child no more than 3 clinging to his lifeless mother upon the shoreline. His sobs, those broken pleas for her to stop sleeping, they brought on her tears. Once they started she could not make them stop.

Determined to stay and help, Amara sent her dwarves to the mountain without her. She simply wouldn't be able to bear it if her friends were gone too, but seeing them in such a lifeless state as the lake people would kill her. Her heart, plainly, wouldn't be able to bear it.

So, Amara stayed with the people of Lake-town. She marched up the banks, up the hills towards the barren plains of the mountain. She sat in the ruins of Dale with them. She greeted the Elvenking with as little animosity as she could muster. She even helped with their battle plans, even though it broke her heart to do so, she had given herself time to try to convince them to wait, to give the dwarves time to change their minds.

Regardless of her efforts, she found herself standing with the people of Laketown on the battlefield, quiver and sword at her hip, bow in hand. She hid her amusement at Dain's brash language and attitude. She felt her heart drop, when the Were-worms tore through the earth, as the orcs marched out to meet them. She vaguely recalled shouldering her bow and drawing her sword, marching forwards with the elves to greet them as a proper host would do.

She found Bofur in the battle, riding a great troll, seemingly having the time of his life. Saved Ori from being beheaded by an orc behind him. She even chased the most hard-headed dwarves up Ravenhill.

Amara had been severely short of breath when she had caught up to them. She snorted at Dwalin's surprise when she wrapped her arms around his large bulk, merely due to him being the closest, after telling them how much she had missed them. It was quickly decided that she would scout the ruins with Fili and Kili, her small stature meant she was quick and light on her feet.

Simply to shock him, Amara stretched up to the impossibly tall dwarf and kissed him squarely on the cheek. Dwalin had staggered back in his shock, attempting to recover himself and hide his flushed face, he ordered them away.

* * *

 _Why did you kiss me? Make my heart beat out of my chest?_

 _ **Natalie Taylor, Latch.**_

* * *

Amara staggered, breathless, heartbroken across the ice. The orcs were fleeing, the eagles giving chase, seemingly have the most fun they'd ever had picking up and dropping orcs from great heights. Amara couldn't even find the urge within herself to cheer for the end of the battle. Not after seeing the unmoving bodies of Kili and Fili. The two people who had had the most life to them were gone. Dead.

What little breath she had left, escaped her upon seeing the Dwarven King, his regal figure standing upon the ruins near the ice she was crossing. As she was lifting her hand to shout and wave at him he crumbled, his knees collapsing under him first, his balance thrown off, he pitched sideways, landing heavily upon his side. Amara, was using the last f her strength to sprint over to him as he rolled heavily onto his back. His agonised groan reached her ears as she, herself, collapsed beside him. Her hands frantically pushing at his bloodied tunics, desperately trying to get to the wound and do something. One of his large hands reached up and closed around one of hers. Stopping her movements.

"Peace, Mistress Amara" He rasped "There is nothing to be done"

Her heart sank, her belief of a mortal wound confirmed. "I have to try" She whispered, attempting to free her hand from his grasp. He did not release her hand, Amara quickly caved though. Tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I am to join my ancestors and nephews in the Halls of Mahal" His thumb stroked her arm soothingly, a jarring contrast to his breathing as he struggled to speak.

Amara hung her head sadly "Then go in peace, my king. Join your forebears." Lifting her free hand, she pushed his hair from his face. His eyes, appearing gray in her black and white world, were starting to dim, his life fading "Leave this place knowing you are loved, cherished and fondly remembered"

"Tell the Burglar that I am sorry" He rasped, coughing wetly, violently "For I cannot"

"I promise" Amara whispered, slowly she leaned down pressing a short kiss to his lips, not understanding her urge to do so, she was surprised to feel his lips twitch in response, she whispered to him "Know that you will be missed, grieved and mourned"

She felt his last breath ghost over her lips, she looked to his eyes any saw the shocking blue of them.

* * *

 _The blue of my eyes is extinguished in this night, the red gold of my heart._

 _ **Georg Trakl**_


End file.
